Day 11

Is caring what other people think genetic?  Last night before we went to bed my little girl told me she couldn’t go to school in the morning.  She then went on to say she didn’t like her rain boots, they have cracks in them, and the snow gets in and makes my feet wet.  That seemed reasonable enough, not the school part but the boot part.  I told her I didn’t know her boots had cracks and I would buy her a new pair and bring them to school.  She then began to cry…uncontrollably.  She then wailed, “All of my friends have snow boots, and I don’t have snow boots and I am NOT going to school tomorrow!” I had no idea snow boots were such a big deal. I tried to console her and tell her we could look for snow boots over the weekend, no she cried.  Marti and Teah and Abby have snow boots and I need them RIGHT NOW!  Seriously?!  I would be totally on board if she wanted them because her boots had cracks in them, I would go immediately to the store if they didn’t fit her or they were uncomfortable, but you NEED them RIGHT NOW because your friends have them?  I am not so inclined.  So, here I am trying to have a rational conversation with a 5 year old about how we all need to do what we think is important.  We should like or do or wear what we like and not care so much about what other people think.  You know, the exact opposite conversation that your mother had with you.  It wasn’t working, I could see it on her face, sure mom, whatever, give me the boots!  As I left her room that night I was amazed that a 5 year old really cared so much about what other children thought.  I really want to raise my kids to be independent thinkers.  I have blared the Mamas and Papas, “Sing Your Own Special Song”, in the car since we’ve adopted them and encouraged their own unique sense of style (or lack thereof).  The last thing I want for them is to be consumed with concern about what people think. Shortly after she went to bed, I picked up People magazine, that’s right I read it on a regular basis.  There were three articles, one about an anorexic model who just died, the second about Johnny Weir and his unique style, and the third about an actress who suffered from bulimia.  All of these folks were in the public eye, they had their own ideas of beauty and then they allowed outside influences control them into thinking they weren’t good enough unless…Thankfully, the actress and the skater were able to shake the need to make others happy and focus on what they felt was important.  The model, however, didn’t fare so well.  At 28 she is dead.  Why?  Who really knows. In part, it’s because of the way we look at beauty.  Fat is held in disdain, we should do anything, throw up, take pills, deny our body nutrients, anything just don’t be fat.  My son went to school the other day and some kid made a comment about his mom being fat.  Why is that OK?  And what does that say about society as a whole?  An 8 year old has the message that fat is bad, so bad in fact, it’s a way to tease a kid.  Where does that come from?  I doubt the parents of that child would say they were bigoted.  I doubt they would say they are raising their child to hate certain groups of people.  BUT somehow it has happened.  Perhaps images in books, perhaps the way we speak about fat people when we see them and think no one can hear us, perhaps the comments made in “jest”.  I am not sure how it happens, only that it does happen.  Fat people aren’t bad people, we aren’t evil or stupid or lazy.  We are just fat, like some people have dimples, or blonde hair, or large breasts.  It’s just fat.

Day 12

Crazy day today and I needed a quick dinner.  This one is called Pantry Soup, because most of these things exist, in some fashion, in your fridge and pantry.  You should be able to knock this out in just a few minutes!

Pantry Soup

1 diced carrot – add more if you like carrots

1-2 cloves garlic

½ small onion diced – the world won’t end if you don’t have it (brown with uncooked meat or in a little oil)

¼ pound of cooked meat- I use chorizo, hamburger or chicken, left over is just fine or you don’t need to use meat at all

1 can of white beans

1/2 jar of green salsa- I use Trader Joes

1 can of spicy stewed tomatoes like Rotel, I use Haggen brand

2 cups of water with a bouillon cube or 1 can of chicken or beef stock

Salt, pepper, chili powder, cumin, coriander to taste

Simmer for about 30 minutes. YUM!

You can add ANYTHING to this left over beans, rice, salsa, peppers, pasta, beer, etc

You can also substitute anything you don’t like heat, regular tomatoes, make it Italian and remove chili powder etc and add oregano and Italian sausage

You can’t mess this up!  I wish life was this easy.